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The No-Rule Rule book to Grief

Updated: Oct 22, 2021

The only thing I knew about grief before my husband passed away was that there were some stages of grief I'd go through, and I'd have a lot of big feelings. I viewed grief as liner, so I thought after going through all the emotions, I'd be "okay" and then be able to move on... boy was I wrong.

After my husband passed away, I quickly learned that grief has no blueprint. Yes, you go through stages, but those stages come back overtime. This made me feel like I was going backwards in my grieving journey. Overtime, I finally realized grief isn't liner, it's cyclical. Even though I experienced the same emotion, I learned something different every time. I had a pre-conceived idea about grief based on what society has taught me, but that wasn't my experience at all.

I've come to the conclusion that there's no rule book to grief. Everybody experiences it differently. This is why I recommend to do what feels right in the moment. After my husband passed away, I thought of what I was supposed to do. What was I supposed to do with his clothes, with his wedding ring, with MY wedding rigs? I was scared of doing something "wrong". For example, I didn't want to make it seem like I wasn't honoring my husband by giving most of his clothes to Goodwill, but I knew keeping them around would not allow me to heal. After thinking long and hard about it, I decided on just doing what felt right for me. It's my journey, and nobody can tell me how to go through it. I encourage you to do the same. Do what feels right for you.

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